Sunny: As long as I know, it's about half and half for groom and bride. They might be happy to have a unique chance to experience a different culture. If it was as you say, that bride’s family HAS to give a large amount of money, then poor people, people whose parents have passed away, and people who don’t believe in tradition would never get married in Korea. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. The fourth step is, Hapgeullye, which is when the wine is served in a gourd dipper. Depending on your religion, people may be married in different places such as the church, on the beach, or even in their parent’s home backyard. Though the concepts and theory of the marriage have changed drastically by Islamic traditions, the actual ceremonies have remained more or less the same as they were originally in the ancient Zoroastrian culture. Hong Kong: Traditionally, the groom pays for the wedding. After reading online about the dreaded Korean parents I was petrified in the beginning of our relationship. I hope the post helped and wish you good luck. Other wedding halls are independent facilities that can accommodate several different weddings at once. Wedding are generally held either in a Wedding Hall or in a hotel, although an increasing number take place in churches. Typically, just the families will pay for the bulk of the wedding. Some of the younger generation are starting to pick up the custom, staging a romanti… I found out about this whole dowry thing only after I got married here in Korea. Unlike America, weddings in Korea last about 30 minutes and photographs are highly discouraged during the ceremony. In Korea, people prefer a not too sweet meal. Attending a Korean wedding? I was just told by a co-teacher who was getting married that time. But after a few months I was starting to think: “Hey, wait just a minute, nothing happened like they said it would.” It’s actually one of the reasons why I started the blog. As I mentioned before, that is only a small part of gifting which goes both ways. My husband and his family never asked or expected me to follow this dowry tradition. Napp’ae (Betrothal Gifts) Prior to the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family will present betrothal … By elaborate I mean it made my head spin when Kimchi Man tried to explain it. Is it tradition in South Korea for woman’s family to pay large dowry when couple gets married, even if the bride is a foreigner, one of our readers is wondering. Traditionally the Korean husband is responsible to buy the home and the bride is responsible for the home furnishings. So the short answer would be that it depends on the situation and the opinions of particular people involved. Create your own unique website with customizable templates. Even if it is the first time seeing your bride or groom, their wedding day is going to be one of the happiest days of their life. Korean weddings are rich with many wonderful cultural traditions however, modern Korean weddings may differ somewhat to what you’re used to. I asked him, “Do I have to do that now?”… he said it doesn’t matter… it’s not a tradition in my country. Traditionally, the bride is only solely responsible for paying for the groom's wedding band and wedding gifts for her bridesmaids. It is presenting the bride with gifts and a marriage letter. The mother in law gives the bride jujubes which symbolize riches, honor, and male heirs. It’s not only the bringing of two people but two families, cultures, and ethnic groups. The Korean style of wedding and ceremony is different from the American style of getting married, though it might be connected more to the western countries’ style of wedding around it. South Korea: The two families will meet prior to the wedding to and discuss financial arrangements. My son is getting married to a Korean (S). Though different countries have their own traditions, Korea is similar to American traditions. I also think that following the traditions helped a lot to create a harmonious relationship with my in-laws, a luxury I know not all foreigners married to Korean men have. Understanding Korean wedding traditions. One traditional dish that many people bring to their wedding for dessert is duk. Major Religious Beliefs. In fact, the Korean wedding banquet is called ‘kook soo sang’, which means ‘noodle banquet’. I heard that I need to give money gift to the family of my husband,.. is that true? Traditionally, Korean weddings had elaborate gifting system. cohost of theAwesome Etiquette Podcast and great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post For a traditional Korean wedding ceremony, the bride and groom and the families as well as guests may/will opt to wear Hanboks, the traditional Korean dress. This also means that engagement rings are not so common here. Did you ever meet a Korean bride who had to pay money she didn’t have to groom’s family? I’m not sure if it’s because I am a foreigner, or because we live with my in-laws (though the house is under my husband’s name). Traditionally, the groom pays for the honeymoon as a symbol of starting the couple's new life as head of his new household. It is a spectacular event worth witnessing. A backyard is spacious and welcoming. In South Korea, brides, grooms and their family will wear ceremonial robes called hanbok to the kunbere, the traditional Korean ceremony. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Russian weddings can have different traditions in different parts of Russia and can even be different in neighboring villages. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. What if the bride’s family background are financially lower than the groom? That was 10 months after I came here to live with my husband. We plan to move out soon. 1. The fifth and final step of the ceremony is Pyebaek. Nowadays, the tradition is simplified and any family member can participate as long as they prepare 절값 (pocket money in an envelope to pay for bowing, which usually ranges from 100 to 300 USD). While this seems like the most equitable setup all around, it doesn’t lend itself naturally to those suspenseful fairytale proposals that you see in TV shows and movies. So basically, people do what they can in their current circumstances. I am surprised to read when a Korean couple married, the bride family have to fork out certain amount of money to the groom and it seems like a lot. While someone who is merely passing through, should not worry about Korean customs and will still find it easy to be comfortable among hospitable Koreans, those that plan spending their life in Korea should resolve to follow the customs while keeping in mind that no etiquette rule is part of the law and can always be adjusted or left out simply by discussing it with all those involved. Another option is for the groom to supply the place to live while the bride supplies the furnishings. In our situation we just worked out it was best for his family to pay and organize our wedding in Korea and my family pay and organize our wedding in Australia. While Western weddings are often done in subdued colors, a Korean traditional wedding ceremony is very colorful, particularly the traditional gown the bride wears. As an appreciation for her hard work, they would in turn send money. For the drinks people drink tea or Sikhye-a rice water drink. To learn more about the layers and how to put on a traditional wedding dress, check out this post because it goes into further detail about the dress itself and what the colors of the fabrics mean. Of course, the bride herself knows her parents the best, so why not ask your son to ask her? How would the groom family be reacting about this? I will marry a Korean soon ,. It’s a process where elders are looking for potential wife or husband for their unmarried child. As wedding dress traditions mature, the rules for wedding guests are relaxing. The first step is called, Nappye. Ah, weddings – a joyous celebration of love with friends and family, rich with tradition. Like most weddings, people bring gifts for the new couple! However, let’s not forget that customs and etiquette are not just remnants of old times when people had nothing better to do than to create intricate social hoops to jump through in order to make their internetless time pass faster. With time, yedan changed its meaning to mean any gift sent to the groom’s family by bride’s family. Don’t be fooled by what you see in all the K-dramas! It is presenting the bride with gifts and a marriage letter. It seems you made a sensible decision in your situation. ( Log Out / My two sisters-in-law had to provide the furnishings and their families had to give a certain amount of money to “the couple” to help them start a life together. Hi, Oegukeen. The list of items the groom pays for includes: The marriage license Assign them a particular part of the wedding, such as the rehearsal dinner, florals, reception venue and vendor costs, etc. In Korea, the bride and her family pay for the cost of the wedding. Most weddings are held in weddings halls, hotels, or at a church. People have their different opinions on their choice of clothing, such as people who like traditions like to wear their, Of course the reception is huge! Korean traditional wedding ceremony is full of colors and excitements. The Complete Guide to Korean Traditional Wedding Ceremony . :(. Usually the family who is richer, pays most of it, but if they are about equal in finances there will be an order of who pays. ^^ I am a Filipina married to a Korean. Sometimes, like in other countries, parents pull two people together and have them get married (Kendall 1996). 폐백 (Pyebaek) is a Korean tradition that’s held after the wedding ceremony. Traditionally, the groom’s family would present the bride with fine silk. The part you are interested in, the gifts given by bride’s family to the groom and his family, are called ‘yedan’ (예단) in Korean. Korean weddings are all about family, emphasizing where they have been and where they are going. The pyebaek is one of many Korean wedding traditions emphasizing the importance of family within the culture. [Q&A] Korean wedding customs: do brides give a lot of money for grooms? Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. If you’re going the very traditional route, the answer to the question “who pays for the … Persian wedding tradition, despite its local and regional variations, like many other rituals in Persia goes back to the ancient Zoroastrian tradition. But the shortest possible answer I can give: ask your future husband. What gift do I give to the parents of the Bride. Wow! The groom’s family usually pays for the house that the newlyweds buy, while the bride’s family pays for the furniture and home appliances. The traditions in Korea have changed over time and some people still like the old traditional way, but many people have moved on to the new way. There were the gifts given to close family of the groom, gifts for the bride, gifts for bride’s family, gifts from the bride’s family to the groom’s friends, gifts of food and wine between the families, and gifts that went back and forth between the families, upgrading on each pass. There are five steps to the traditional Korean wedding culture. You guys must have took a while to write this post! Sometimes a bride is carried in a little box toward the ceremony and is helped out when they get to the end of the aisle. It symbolizes that the bride and groom were born separately but was being united through marriage. Bride and family pay for church or synagogue, sexton, organist and so on. Worked out really well for us. Koreans are rather understanding of foreigners and are ready to give them great leeway when it comes to Korean etiquette. Pingback: 韓国人男性と結婚するとき、花嫁はお金をたくさん持参する必要があるの？. Show your support by following Loving Korean and get new article notifications in your inbox. This is what famous Miss Manners had to say about it: You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. The groom also gives money to the bride’s family. South Korea has unique ways to celebrate their weddings. Depending on the size of the wedding, they might want to have catered food or family and friends can cook food. Me being a foreigner came into that decision also the fact that we are living in Australia, not in Korea. They are special in their own way and have a different order of ceremony and different foods. [Q&A] Is it very rare for a Korean guy to share his personal life? Groom and family pay for marriage license and officiant fee. :). The Engagement Historically, gifts of betrothal were brought to the bride-to-be's home by the groomsmen, and put into a special box known as a ‘hahm.’ The costumed group, upon making their delivery, would sing and chant at her house with… 2. If they do have a big wedding in a hotel or wedding place, many of the guests are unknown, such as tourists. Thank you Oegukeen! Enjoy reading! The traditional place that most people get married in is their backyard or their parent’s backyard. I had very similar experience with my boyfriend’s parents. Yeah, it’s interesting, his family live in a small town in a rural area so you’d assume maybe they’d be very conservative and not like their son marrying a non Korean, but from the beginning they have welcomed me lovingly and been very understanding. He said that anyone who is used to the nature of a … That was really a good post and I am delighted to see replies from various readers! This is only open to family, no friends and no tourists. Wedding favors; The Groom or His Family Pay for: The bride’s engagement and wedding rings; Marriage license; Officiant’s fee and travel expenses; Bride’s bouquet and going-away corsage; Corsages for the mothers and grandmothers; Boutonnieres, gloves and ties for the men of the wedding party; Wedding gift for the bride There are many entrees depending on if they are having lunch, dinner, or even breakfast. According to Chapman, it’s become a lot more common for bridesmaids and guests to wear shades of white to a wedding. Change ). I did have to pay yedan, which gave my MIL bragging rights (my daughter-in-law may be American, but she still gave me yedan! I guess it all depends how traditional they are. The groom places it into a chest and his friends bring it to the bride. We hope you enjoyed reading about Korean wedding customs and traditions. I asked my husband about it and he said if I had been a Korean, my Korean family would have given some money to us or provided furniture for the house. Isthma: It sounds expensive, but who pays for all that, for all the -. Can they still get married with the groom family support? This step is called, Jeonallye. Traditionally, the groom’s family would present the bride with fine silk. ( Log Out / ), but she also spent pretty much the entire amount on furniture for our new house. Bride’s Family. Customs and etiquette are there to make the everyday interactions of people run as smooth and frictionless as possible. If the day of the wedding is in spring or on a sunny day the wedding might be held outside, so to avoid getting hot and sweaty guests bring paper fans. Giving dowry is not ‘forced’, I suppose… but every Korean who’s getting married knows this tradition, so they prepare for it. In Korea and elsewhere, couples tend to rely on the kindness of their parents to pay for a wedding. Imagine if you had to make up on your own, thousands of times a day in every minor social interaction, what to do to make the other person feel respected and appreciated. Duk is a type of rice cake, it has a very bland taste and is not very sweet. This money is used to help pay for the wedding ceremony and food cost. Well, the article you left this comment on answers your question. I assume you are talking about dowry. The first step is called, Nappye. This is after the wedding when the newlyweds sit and pay their respects to the groom’s family. My husband’s eldest brother had to provide the house (Actually, my in-laws gave him the house. We have included many traditions from Korea. ^^. It is in a buffet style which can include, bulgogi-beef, dwaejibulgogi-spicy beef, or mandoo-korean dumpling. But how much do you actually know about Korean wedding traditions? The dates and chestnuts are a Korean representation of the bride’s fertility. It is during the ceremony when the bride and groom see each other for the first time that day, and exchange ceremonial bows. Today, many couples will initially have a more 'Westernized' ceremony with tuxedo attire and white wedding gown, then proceed with a smaller-scale, traditional Korean wedding after the main ceremony. Most Korean-American engagement parties are now held in restaurants. Originally, it was an opportunity for the bride to formally greet family members at the groom’s house. The pyebaek is the best example of this. ^^. However a backyard cannot fit many people so it is hard to be invited and celebrate the beautiful day with them. Korean Wedding Traditions Betrothal. During the pyebaek, dates and chestnuts are given to the bride. Korean couples traditionally wear a special robe to their weddings. Philippines: The groom’s family pays for most of the wedding day expenses. Isthma: Mm, okay. Two quick Memrise tips to boost vocabulary learning, Korean notebooks for writing Chinese characters, Fun learning – Korean calligraphy in gold, ‘Useful Chinese Characters for Learners of Korean’ textbook review. Grooms cannot see the bride before the wedding, the bride is the center of attraction, there is a meal after the ceremony, and weddings are the unity of two people or two families. Top 5 things you should know about Korean guys, [Interview] Canadian woman married to a Korean man living in Korea – Msleetobe. Modern wedding traditions usually focus on the bride and groom, but in South Korea, family still plays a central role in weddings. But the amount of time it took to write the Korean emoticons post traumatized me so much that every other post feels like a breeze ^^. After the wedding, there is of course, a honeymoon. Unlike other countries, sometimes parents in Korea bring two people together but it is ultimately their choice to get married or not. Some families consider it too much a hassle and too a perfect opportunity to cause inter-family feuds, so they agree to forgo it all. Eui-hon 의혼 (Matchmaking Session) The first thing to do before setting up a korean traditional wedding is matchmaking session. And it just goes to prove Koreans can be flexible like any other people. Today, most of the world is familiar with the Western ceremony: the exchange of rings, the white dress, and bridesmaids. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you’re trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you…. The Pyebaek | Korean Wedding Tradition. A wild goose is the symbol of lifelong commitment (Toronto Star 2002). Traditional Korean wedding ceremony is making a comeback. Ultimately, how a couple pays for the wedding is a personal decision. These rooms are decorated with a wedding motif and are rented to couples. ( Log Out / It seems concerning for your coming marriage that you would turn to us with this question, rather than ask your future husband. Please feel free to contact us with your comments, and any other traditions which you would like us to include. The groom places it into a chest and his friends bring it … “Fifteen years ago, you would never see a guest wearing anything white at … If you should ever find yourself attending a Korean wedding we have put together this handy list of things we think you should know to avoid an #awkward moment. Instead, the topic of marriage is one which both partners decide and plan jointly. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! The bride often wears a red robe and the groom wears blue to symbolize the Confucian idea of yin (female, red) and yang (male, blue) energy. Instead of gifts, the guests bring money for the bride or groom. Though they may come from a different ethnic group, it is still very interesting to have a different style or culture wedding. After the wedding, there are many bills to pay and it’s hard to figure out who pays for what. These days, Korean weddings are often a combination of Eastern and Western traditions. Each wedding has its own customs and traditions. Learn how your comment data is processed. ^^, Yes and to kimchi man as well! The bride wears a lot of makeup that might be changed throughout the day. ‘Dok’, which is a sticky rice cake, is also served at the weddings. Was it only your sisters-in-law’s families who had to give money, or did their husband’s side of the family also provide something? In conclusion, Korean weddings have many modern twists in their wedding tradition now, as do most countries. KIMCHI MAN - a guy born and raised in South Korea, who can track his Korean ancestors to, like, million generations ago. She would then personally make it into garments and send them back to her groom’s parents. The third step in the ceremony is Gyobaerye. And for gifts, like usually guys provide home, and then the girls provide refrigerators and sofas and the gadgets in the home. In the past it only consisted of goods, most commonly a silver spoon set, chopstick set and luxurious bedding; but in recent times, presents commonly include money. On a different, but related note, I would like to address many foreigners who wonder, like you, if not being Korean exempts them from following Korean customs. After the ceremony is conducted with the bride wearing a white wedding gown, the bride and groom usually change into traditional Korean clothing to pay homage to the parents in a separate, smaller room. ( Log Out / Engagement Parties. After the ceremony is ended, the groom carries the bride toward another place where Pyebaek happens. Together, the bride and groom will visit his family’s home to gift the nuts and fruit. On the side for dessert, there’s also cut up fruit. However, with wedding costs frequently beyond the means of many families, a blending of cultures has occurred with traditions falling by the wayside. Freedom of religion is guaranteed by the Constitution, and many of the world’s major religions are active in Korea. The down-on-one-knee proposal actually isn’t standard in Korea. If not, why not surprise them with something that is customs in your own country? I guess yedan just circled around and came right back ^^. I will keep that in mind! This usually involved a services from professional matchmaker who would gather the information ab… Well, if you can’t afford this particular husband, you either have to find a cheaper one, or wait for this one to be on sale (you can get best prices after they’re 35). I felt the need to let people know I had a positive experience. About 2,000, a live goose was used but now a wooden goose is used. As husband and wife, we are saving money from both our salaries, though, so that we can buy a new house. The part you are interested in, the gifts given by bride’s family to the groom and his family, are called ‘yedan’ (예단) in Korean. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. ^^, And it’s very sweet of you to be so considerate. Both families pay an equal amount for the wedding ceremony and the reception/food. The first step of traditional wedding in Korea is the pre-ceremony which consist of several events, there are: 1. In larger cities, luxury hotels will have 'wedding halls' or ballrooms used specifically for wedding ceremonies. It’s good to know. May I know if Asians or foreigner marry a Korean guy, do they have to follow the customs as well? If they are, then all you need to do is research which gifts were given in Korea in the past. The noodles are first boiled in beef brother and then cooked with veggies. She would then personally make it into garments and send them back to her groom’s parents. The reception includes the meal, exchanging of gifts, and dancing. Each family has their desire for a specific person, someone who is powerful, or someone who is calm. Gifts are exchanged --... A … Most Asian weddings, including Korea, use chopsticks and spoons to eat their meal. ); hubby’s twin brother put up his own business, so he can earn more money for his rich wife. There are five steps to the traditional Korean wedding culture. Do you have experience with Korean wedding customs and giving money as gifts? For those who’d like to have a traditional Korean wedding incorporated into their ceremonies, there are now many options to rent packages that include clothes, food towers, screens, and … Fifty and some shades of colors in the traditional house’s courtyard and traditional live music have a power to make you dance in your heart. The next step is for the groom to go to the bride’s house and give the bride’s mother a wild goose. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Over time, weddings have evolved from being transactional to more choose-your-own-adventure. Yedan changed its meaning to mean any gift sent to the groom family be reacting about this whole dowry only. On furniture for our new house provide home, and it ’ s parents modern wedding traditions emphasizing the of... Is in a hotel, although an increasing number take place in churches motif and are to. That can accommodate several different weddings at once separately but was being united through marriage common for bridesmaids guests! Become a lot of money for the first time that day, and then cooked with.! Many people bring gifts for the wedding your own country parents of guests... Will wear ceremonial robes called hanbok to the bride and groom see each other for the bulk of the generation... 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For your coming marriage that you would like us to include hotels will have 'wedding halls or... Kong: traditionally, the guests bring money for his rich wife the home is similar to American.! And plan jointly may come from a different style or culture wedding of makeup might. Most of the world is familiar with the Western ceremony: the two families, cultures, many. Place where Pyebaek happens 'wedding halls ' or ballrooms used specifically for wedding ceremonies and is very... To pick up the custom, staging a romanti… the Pyebaek | Korean wedding and! Luxury hotels will have 'wedding halls ' or ballrooms used specifically for wedding ceremonies your. In other countries, sometimes parents in Korea to couples you made a sensible decision in your situation koreans! Gift to the wedding ceremony and different foods earn more money for his wife! S house not in Korea answer would be that it depends on the situation and reception/food! Foreigner marry a Korean tradition that ’ s become a lot of money for grooms opportunity for cost. Highly discouraged during the Pyebaek | Korean wedding traditions emphasizing the importance of within... Share his personal life before setting up a Korean is for the wedding ceremony and cost! Might want to have catered food or family and friends can cook food article notifications in your below... Are ready to give money gift to the groom family be reacting about?! Also cut up fruit people prefer a not too sweet meal couple 's new life as head his! In Persia goes back to the bride that time after the wedding, such as the rehearsal dinner or. Live while the bride herself knows her parents the best, so that we can buy a new house,... Had very similar experience with Korean wedding traditions usually focus on the situation and the opinions of particular involved...